Learning how to effectively discipline your child is an important skill that all parents need to learn. Whether the parent is traditional, a stay home parent, or a fulltime worker, the most precious thing a parent can give his or her kids is their time.
As parents, we are often unsure how to effectively respond to negative behaviors, such as aggression, defiance, failure to follow rules, and noncompliance not doing chores or homework. This article provides some general guidelines on developing discipline strategies that work.
Philosophy and Strategy We often think of discipline as a way of decreasing or stopping behaviors that we do not want children to exhibit.
However, the most effective discipline strategies focus at least as much on increasing behaviors that we want children to show. Why do children misbehave? We share the view advocated by Ross Greene, Ph. This view point emphasizes a collaborative problem solving focus as Green labels it toward discipline rather than a more negative view that problem behavior is willful defiance designed to deliberately manipulate, frustrate and challenge adults.
Obviously, there are times when children and adolescents behave in ways designed to provoke and manipulate adults. These more complex problems are addressed elsewhere look for future article on the topic of "Managing Defiant Behavior". Increasing and Decreasing Behaviors Given the philosophy outlined above effective discipline needs to focus on increasing positive behavior as least as much as it focuses on stopping behavior we do not want children to show.
In addition, it suggests that we problem solve with children and help them learn more effective ways to meet their needs and manage their frustrations. However, nothing could be farther from the truth. In fact research by Russell Barkley, Ph. Rewarding desired behaviors increases the chance that children will show desired behavior more often and helps children feel more positively about themselves as their behavior is praised.
Moreover, positively reinforced behaviors tend to be effective behaviors, children get what they want and adults are pleased. As a result, children will often develop a greater sense of effectiveness or competency.
This is a term used by Ross Greene, Ph. Greene argues that the most effective way to reduce noncompliance and thereby promote more competent and positive behavior is to: This approach helps children learn new skills and develop more effective ways to cope with frustrations.
Strategies for promoting positive behavior Praise desired behaviors frequently, and sincerely. Ignore trivial mistakes or wrong-doings pick your battles. Educate your child to choose appropriate behavior tell them what you would like them to do when a problem arises, e.
Teach your child more effective ways to manage frustration and respond to challenges. Identify problem situations and plan solutions ahead of time.
Spend special time with your child to provide more positive attention. Use your own behavior to demonstrate positive alternatives if you stay calm, it helps your child stay calm. Take into account who your child is.
If your child has trouble with transitions give your child warnings and more time to shift activities. If your child is impulsive and distractible provide your child with more supervision to insure task completion. Strategies for Decreasing Negative Behaviors Hitting, swearing, and failing to follow important rules, are common examples of behaviors that parents need to take action to stop.
Parents can ignore certain behaviors, but those that place the safety of the child, or others, at risk cannot be ignored. Three approaches that parents can rely on to help decrease negative behavior include: The easiest way to decrease an undesirable behavior is to allow it to be followed by a natural consequence.
For example if a child breaks a toy it can no longer be used, or if a child leaves her bike outside it may be stolen. Punishment involves imposing a consequence for undesirable behavior, in order to decrease the chance that the behavior will be repeated. Parents commonly punish by removing privileges in response to an undesirable behavior, e.
Punishment is usually more effective if the consequence is not overly harsh and occurs quickly after the negative behavior has taken place. Parents are strongly advised to use punishments they can easily implement i. Removing the child from a situation is another way to decrease the chances that a negative behavior will be repeated, and is particularly effective in defusing conflict.
Sending a child out of the room when the child is arguing, exhibiting rude behavior or behaving disruptively, helps decrease the likelihood that the child will exhibit such negative behavior. Moreover, time out prevents negative interactions and conflicts, by removing the child rather than aggressively intervening to stop a negative behavior which a child may have difficulty stopping if he is upset or angry.
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"All 3 ways of discipline were very informative!" TF Tyeace Frierson. Aug 4, "I learned from this site!" Share yours!69%(46). Today we explore “positive discipline” an idea that focuses on reverting things back to the roots we spend a few minutes every morning to help her make the transition, but the time is well spent, since it makes the rest of the morning go much smoother.
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